Beings or Things

Are you a being or a thing? Is your spouse, colleague, family member or neighbor a being or a thing? We are all beings, of course. Yet, when faced with conflict we often treat our conflict partners as things instead … Read MoreRead More

Are You Listening?

Are you listening to the person you are having conflict with? And, are you hearing what they are actually saying? If you are like most of us, what you are hearing in conflict is mostly yourself. In fact, we use … Read MoreRead More

From Answers to Questions

We live in a culture which values knowing the answers. Our entire schooling system rewards those who seemingly know the answers and punishes those who appear not to. This answer-centric conditioning translates into our personal and professional lives – not … Read MoreRead More

There is Here

Both of us spent considerable portions of our lives reaching milestones. It seemed that once we would graduate from the university; finish law school; get that coveted job; make a lot of money; or marry the perfect mate (of course, … Read MoreRead More

Set Aside the Trigger

Most of us believe that external events and the behavior of others can upset us and thus are the cause of our discomfort in conflict. But what if this wasn’t true? What if our discomfort in conflict arises from the … Read MoreRead More

Dis-Solving Conflict from Within

What is it about conflict that feels so unsettling, so scary, so overwhelming and so confusing? There is a sense of uncertainty that conflict brings with it. Conflict challenges our beliefs, expectations (of ourselves and other people) and the illusion … Read MoreRead More

The Gift of Listening

There is one thing we almost never do in conflict. We almost never do it even though it could be the most transformative thing we could possibly do. … Read More

Press the PAUSE Button

The first question that pops up for many of us when in conflict is “How can I fix this?” And, our conditioning is that fixing a difficult situation is what we must do. Unfortunately, this question is also the first … Read MoreRead More

Conflict is a Fire Alarm

Most of us go through life by viewing conflict as the fire we must control, extinguish or avoid. And, there are a number of books, experts and organizations which purportedly tell us exactly how to do that. Yet, our actions … Read MoreRead More

What Are You Feeling?

So, what are you feeling right now? No…, not what you are thinking, believing or judging. Really, what are you feeling? … Read More